BiTrektual

Star Trek-fan: Live long and prosper, if you’re one of us.
Star Wars-fan: May the force be with you, unless that phrase don’t fit you.
ST-fan: Forever, we have been at odds.
SW-fan: Cause you’re a drooling Trekkie
ST-fan: Says the Lucas lackey.
Both: Whatever!

Star Trek-fan:
We are out in space, the last frontier,
Seeking life that’s new and strange out here
Both: And new civilizations in the great beyond.
Boldly going where no one has gone.

Star Wars-fan:
Our tale is better in every way,
In a galaxy far far away.
Both: A great adventure happened a long time ago,
But then I don’t suppose that you would know.

Star Trek-fan: We have ray guns we call phasers
Star Wars-fan: We have blasters and lightsabers
Star Trek-fan: We have ships that fly at warp
Star Wars-fan: Yeah, it’s called hyperspace, you dork!
Star Trek-fan: We’ve got the Mugato and you have got Ewoks!
Star Wars-fan: Yeah, well, a guy who plays with tribbles shouldn’t talk!

Star Trek-fan: Oh, come on, let’s not fight;
Both: It’s so unintellectual.
Star Trek-fan: How ’bout we join sides and be bitrektual?
Star Wars-fan:That’s disgusting.”
Star Trek-fan: “Yeah, forget I mentioned it.”

Star Trek-fan:
Klingons shooting at our starboard side.
We’ve got a hull breach on the Enterprise.
Both: We drift into the neutral zone and we’re on the wrong side.
We’d need a wormhole to get out alive.

Star Wars-fan:
On a moon of Yavin’s where we hide.
We’re having trouble with the hyperdrive.
Both: This planet keeps on spinning and the Death Star’s now in sight.
We hope the rebels take it out in time.

Star Wars-fan: Oh, come on let’s not fight,
Both: It’s so unintellectual.
Star Wars-fan: How ’bout we join sides and be bitrektual?
Star Trek-fan: Wouldn’t it be nice
Both: And so much more effectual?
Star Trek-fan: To put our cares aside and be bitrektual!

Star Wars-fan:
Think how awesome it would be a
Team up with Jean Luc and Leia,
Star Trek-fan:
Kirk and Chewie save the day,
Blowing up a bird of prey.
Star Wars-fan:
Han and Spock they set a net
And trap the Borg and Boba Fett
While 3P0 and Data raid a Tie fighter to capture Vader.
Both:
Luke and Worf get into it
And blow the Deathstar into bits
Star Trek-fan: And then we throw the tribbles
Both: Into the Sarlac pit
Star Wars-fan: And then we kicked the Ewoks into it.

Star Trek-fan: Live long and prosper, so say we all
Star Wars-fan:
“Wait, what?”

May the force be with you,
May the Time Lords keep you.
Both: Forever, we can Babylon
Star Wars-fan: There’s no use debating,
Both: The Stargate’s waiting,

Star Wars-fan: Oh, come on let’s not fight,
Both: It’s so unintellectual.
Star Wars-fan: How ’bout we join sides and be bitrektual?
Both: So let’s take the advice of an Asian homosexual:

“Fellow Star folks, cool it down!”
(“Celebrity voice impersonated.”)

Both: Let’s put our cares aside and be bitrektual!
Star Wars-fan: Hell, I want to be Sci-Fi-multiTrektual!

Star Trek-fan: “Live long and prosper!”
Star Wars-fan: “May the force be with you!”
Star Trek-fan: “Never give up, never surrender!”
Star Wars-fan: “To infinity and beyond!”

Depending on the version of the song:
“Really, Voltaire? Really?” or ”You… are ridiculous.”

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