Happy Birthday (My Olde Friend)

Grab the chair, boys, We’ve got
another bucket kicker!

Happy Birthday my olde
friend. It seems this horror show will
never end. Any moment’s your last
breath. Here is to another day closer
to death.
The cake is on the table and it is
awfully bright ’cause there’s so many
candles on top. But you are so
decrepit, your chest so tight, when
you blow them out your lungs are
gonna pop. You can not complain
each time you feel a pain though you
have arthritis and gout. ‘Cause when
you start kvetching all your teeth fall
out. So have another cigarette, have
another beer. Raise your glass to one
more year. (GONE!)

Happy Birthday my olde
friend. It seems this horror show will
never end. Any moment’s your last
breath. Here is to another day closer
to death.
Your skin is so worn out and old. All
over your body it’s sagging.
Especially loose is your old caboose.
You’re dragging it behind you in a
wagon. Well, you’re an alcoholic and
you’re blind and deaf and you have
Alzheimer’s I bet. You’re too old to
remember but you’re too drunk to
forget. So have another cigarette,
have another beer. Raise your glass to
one more year. (GONE!)

Happy Birthday my olde
friend. It seems this horror show will
never end. Any moment’s your last
breath. Here is to another day closer
to death.
You’re so old you smell like dust.
And now your bones begin to rust.
See that face it’s full of wrinkles. So
have another cigarette, have another
beer. Raise that chair to
one more year. (RAISE!)

Happy Birthday my olde
friend. It seems this horror show will
never end. Any moment’s your last
breath. Here is to another day closer
to your sweet death.

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