Stuck With You

Girl: You’re a slob, it’s such a bore,
Your underwear’s strewn on the floor.

Boy: And you’re a pack-rat most extreme
Our house is full of magazines.
Girl: The toilet’s broke, and yet I bet
His Majesty ain’t fixed it yet.

Boy: You’re one to talk, sleepyhead!
Get your fat ass out of bed!
Both: Oh, but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
“Not until death may we part.”
Boy: So until then I’m stuck with you.

Girl: You swore that you’d be true to me
But gave be infidelity.
Boy: Why should I give a tinker’s cuss?
She was your sister, what’s the fuss?

Girl: Well then, let’s propose a truce.
What’s good for gander is good for goose.
Boy: Hey, now that’s different, you took to bed
My favorite dog and all my friends!

Both: Oh, but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
“Not until death may we part.”
Boy: So until then I’m stuck with you.
Oh, but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
“Not until death may we part.”
Girl: This is my curse, I said, “I do.”
Better or worse I’m stuck with you.

Girl: You poked my eye, I wear a patch.
I should’ve given you one to match.
Boy: Did you forget, you got me back?
You chopped my thumb off with an axe.

Girl: You drowned my kittens one by one.
You looked like you were having fun.
Boy: You stabbed my mother in the chest
with a Korean bayonet!

Both: Oh, but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
“Not until death may we part.”
Boy: So until then I’m stuck with you.
Oh, but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
“Not until death may we part.”
Boy: This is my curse, I said, “I do.”
Better or worse I’m stuck with you.

Girl: And now i lie here in the grave.
I pray to god my soul to save.
And in the darkness of the tomb,
I’m glad i’m lying next to you.
Boy: And as I lay here six feet down,
My body buried underground
In this dank, and dreary cold,
I’m just glad i’m not alone.

Both: Oh, but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
“Not until death may we part.”
Boy: So until then I’m stuck with you.
Oh, but in the eyes of god,
We said our vows before the pews.
“Not until death may we part.”
Girl: I’m not sad I said, “I do.”
Both: I’m just glad I was stuck with you.

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